Halloween Shopping – Renji's worst nightmare!
by Tara Kitaide
Summary: Halloween shopping! What did Renji get himself in to? And why does Ichigo keep staring at him like that! Maybe Zoro can help... YAOI RENJIXICHIGO ZOROXSANJI AU
1. The begining

**Title: **Halloween Shopping – Renji's worst nightmare!

**Author:** Tara Kitaide

**genre: **family/friendship/humor

**Pairing:** Renji/Ichigo and Zoro/Sanji

**Disclaimer: **I do no own Bleach, One Piece, Angel Sanctuary, Zombie Powder, Skip Beat, Naruto, Kingdom Hearts, or any of the other anime's and their rightful characters. I do, however, own myself and this odd fantasy world where 20 different animes seem to have magically converged into one. And yes, I own Zaxel. Muahahahaha...

**Warning: **shonen-ai, language, brief sexual humor

**Rating: **M

-/-/-/-

"GIVE ME WHAT I WANT OR FACE THE TERROR OF THE NIGHT!"

Renji's eyebrows quirked at the masked menace now only inches from his face. The book in his hands sat idle by as his dark red eyes locked with those behind the eye holes of the grotesque mask. They stayed like this for several moments, nether moving until Renji reluctantly gave in with a sigh and asked what the other had been waiting to hear.

"What is it now, Tara?"

The masked member gave a small satisfied chuckle before lifting the mask up over their head and taking a moment to place their glasses back on their face. The girl, a large grin now on her face and her blue-green eyes sparkling behind her glasses, stood back up and removed the close contact between her and Renji.

"It's Halloween next week and you know what that means!" She smiled, flashing a toothy grin

"Yeah! Halloween!" A voice chirped from behind her. "Ghosts and Ghouls and Candy and FUN!"

Renji grumbled and dog-eared the edge of the book he was reading, know he wouldn't have a chance to come back to it for a long while. "Okay, and what does this have to do with me?" He asked, regretting the answer.

"We don't have our costumes!" Both girls said in perfect unison, almost like it was planed.

"Yeah! We need someone to take us to the store!" Zaxel said, her dark hair swaying as she moved beside Tara. "We haven't gotten our costumes yet!"

"And you promised you'd take us to get them last month!" Tara reminded.

Renji grumbled once again and put a hand to his head, not liking this one bit. He knew when he made a promise, they held it to him. And when they held him to it, they wouldn't let him forget until he did it. And if he didn't do it, it would get them going. And when they got going, there was no end to it.

"Do we really have to do this now?" He sighed. "Can't you bug Axel(1) or Zaphikel(2) or--"

"NOW! WE WANNA GO NOW!"

Again, the girls were in perfect unison and shouted so loud, Renji clamped his hands over his ears as soon as the offending sound reached his ear drums.

He mentally beat the shit out of himself before standing and putting his book up somewhere safe where he knew someone like Yachiru(3) or Luffy(4) wouldn't be able to reach it, the girl's eyes following him all the while. "I ain't gonna win am I?" He asked no one in particular.

The girls response was a sly grin which was hidden from Renji for his back was still turned.

Renji sighed miserably, very well knowing the answer. He turned back to the girls who turned into perfect, innocent angels as soon as he turned. Renji didn't catch a single glimpse of their grin but could see it in his mind regardless, making him curse under his breath.

"Okay, where to?"

The girls eyes widened and before Renji had even a nano second to react...

"WEEEEE!!!! OH MY GOD, YAY!!"

Renji was completely blown back, his hears feeling like they had been ripped from his head. He shouted in turn, but never as loud as the two hyperactive teens, and once again gripped his head in pain.

"BOTH OF YOU!!" Renji shouted, finally catching their attention. "Both of you go get ready and gather whoever the hell else you're gonna take!"

"But we--"

"NOW!!!"

The girls grumbled but complied and sprinted out of the room hand in hand. Once they were gone, Renji slumped back into his chair and sighed heavily, his mind still pounding. "Oh God or Budah or whoever is up there..." He grumbled. "What have you let me get myself into?!"

-/-/-/-

It had been Thirty minutes sense the insain shouting match and blown ear drums incident. Sense then, Tara and Zaxel managed to rummage through every sock drawer, look through every closet (even the Ichigo's resulting in the discovery of stashed Yaoi Manga which lead to another insain shouting match), and try on every pair of gloves until they found one just right. This commotion ultimately heightened the curiosity of (what Renji thought to be) the less mature members of the house hold and by the end of it all, there were six new additions to their shopping party; Luffy, Rangiku, Hinata(5) (although Renji considered her to be rather mature), Ichigo, Kyoko(6), and Wolfina(7) (who was no better then Rangiku).

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he watched the group slip on their jackets among other things. He was devising some sort of plan in his head to keep the group together and not allow them to run off in all directions.

_Maybe..._ He thought. _Maybe Hinata and Kyoko could help me. After all, they're sensible people. I know Hinata would behave herself but sometimes she can get a little over excited. Same for Kyoko...And then there's THEM..._

His eyes drifted over to where Luffy, Rangiku, Tara, and Zaxel were socializing and his heart sunk. _There's no way in HELL I can keep them in check! Oh lord, send me an angel or--_

"Oi, Abarai."

Right as he that notion of a prayer was thought, Renji was called out to. He turned and was met with half lidded, a slight scowl and short green hair. His "angel's" arms were crossed and gave off an aloof, melancholy attitude.

Renji stared at the boy a moment longer before he realized to respond and put up a hand in greeting.

"Uh, Hey, Zoro. What is it?"

Zoro stopped by Renji's side, his arms still crossed, his eyes never meeting the other man's. He stared out on the group of excited shoppers that struggled with convincing Luffy to wear shoes instead of sandals on grounds that they wouldn't give him meat for a month if he didn't.

Renji over look Zoro's wardrobe. Normally the green haired swords man would be dressed plainly for all he did was sleep most of the day. But now... He was dressed in a warm brown jacket and light scarf with faded blue jeans and his normal black boots. Surprisingly, it all matched but what really got Renji was that he was all dressed up. Was he leaving somewhere as well? Or better yet, was he going with them?!

Renji turned back to the group and said a small prayer of thanks in his head. Zoro could handle Luffy better than anyone and if they could get Luffy under control, the rest were sure to follow. It amazed him sometimes how the young swordsman could have such an influence over his Capitan.

_If only I could have that sort of affect over MY capitan._ Renji sighed.

"So when are we going?" Zoro asked, confirming Renji's suspicions. Regardless, Renji had to ask anyway. There was always the chance he mis understood.

"So you're going with us?"

Zoro "hmph"ed and let a small coy smile grace his lips. "Of course." He said as if it was a known fact. "You really think I'd let you handle them on your own? They'd tear the place up. No offense to you." He added the last part almost as an after thought.

Renji sighed and nodded, for the first time fully, reality set in and stabbed him like a sword through the chest. "No offense taken..." He mumbled half-heartedly.

Zoro glanced of at him a moment with a slight smirk before looking back at the group, not particularly focusing on any of them. "So how are things between you and Ichigo?"

Renji tensed and gulped, a shiver traveling down his spine at the familiar boy's name. His eyes returned to the group too and, unlike Zoro's, focused on said boy. He breathed deeply in and out once before smiling half heartedly.

"I haven't told him yet."

Zoro sighed and scratched the back of his head in irritation, his voice now low as so others wouldn't over hear. "You need to tell him. You can't let this keep eating away at you, Abarai."

"I know, I know." Renji growled slightly. "But It's not that easy, ya know? I can't just walk up to him and say, 'Hey, Ichigo, Guess what? I--'"

Renji couldn't finish his sentence for a hand was clasped over his mouth, rendering him speechless. His eyes widened in surprise as he shouted muffled words in protest. His eyes shot to Zoro who was the one covering him mouth then back to the crowd and again to the green haired youth. No one seemed to notice.

"W-What was that for?!" Renji whispered harshly when Zoro removed his hand.

Zoro looked out into the group intently and his eyes narrowed. "He was listening."

Renji gave a small "huh?" and looked at the group too. He followed Zoro's gaze until his eyes landed on Ichigo and he realized what he had meant. Renji gave a sigh of relief and muttered a small "thank you"; Zoro nodded in turn.

"Okay, everyone! Listen up!"

All eyes were turned towards the speaker and all talking stopped immediately.

"Now as you all know, we're going to the mall." Tara said, standing on the shoe shelf and puffing her chest out triumphantly. "Now as Halloween attendees, we must do our very best to uphold the Halloween tradition. That means, WE SCARE THE LIVIN' CRAP OUT OF EVERY FUCKIN' LIVIN' CREATURE!!"

There was a chorus of whoops and "hell yeah!"s before everyone quieted again.

"SO I WANT YOU TO GET THE SCARIEST FUCKIN' SHIT YOU CAN FIND!!" Tara commanded, stomping a foot on the shelf, her fists pumping wildly through the air. "YA-HA(8)!!"

"YA-HAAA!!" was her reply from most but a select few.

Renji was one of those select few and cringed visibly as thoughts of what to come flooded his mind.

"Yeah..." He sighed. "'Ya-freakin'-Ha..."

-/-/-/-

**AN:** Tomorrow is Halloween and this isn't done yet but I promise there will be plenty of yaoi action!! And now for a list of all the different Animes the characters involved come from!

(1) Axel – Kingdom Hearts II (This is actually a video game. X3)

(2) Zaphikel – Angel Sanctuary

(3) Yachiru – BLEACH – Fukutaichou of Squad 11

(4) Monkey D. Luffy – One Piece

(5) Hinata Hyuga - Naruto

(6) Kyoko Mogami – Skip Beat

(7) Wolfina – Zombie Powder (Another title by Tite Kubo!)

(8) "YA-HA!" - Fans of the football manga Eyeshield 21 will recognize this as Running Back Hiruma's signature phrase.


	2. Trouble in the Parking lot

**Title: **Halloween Shopping – Renji's worst nightmare!

**Author:** Tara Kitaide

**genre: **family/friendship/humor

**Pairing:** Renji/Ichigo and Zoro/Sanji

**Disclaimer: **I do no own Bleach, One Piece, Angel Sanctuary, Zombie Powder, Skip Beat, Naruto, Kingdom Hearts, or any of the other anime's and their rightful characters. I do, however, own myself and this odd fantasy world where 20 different animes seem to have magically converged into one. And yes, I own Zaxel. Muahahahaha...

**Warning: **shonen-ai, language, brief sexual humor

**Rating: **M

-/-/-/-

The ride to the store was a hell hole and a half.

It was bad enough that they had to take two cars to fit everyone (Renji driving one, Zoro in the other) but then Renji ended up having to drive stick and to top it all off, the clutch gave out. It was a while before Renji could calm the roaring storm of frustration inside him before calling Zoro for help.

They pushed to car about a block before settling it in the parking lot of drug store and cramming into the Volts Wagon BW(1) van and continuing on to the store. When they finally arrived, it was as if a tidal wave had surged from the poor van and washed over the parking lot as everyone burst from the van rarin' to go. Everyone but a few, that is.

"YA-HA! THE MALL! WE FINALLY MADE IT!!" Tara shouted, bursting from the vehicle. "Now let's g-!!"

"DONT. EVEN. THINK. ABOUT. IT."

Before the young girl could take off, she was gripped by the back of her shirt color and hoisted up, her actions being halted completely. Renji's voice was deep with the intent to kill, venom laced in every word. When Tara turned to look at him with a seemingly innocent angelic face, she was met with dark glaring eyes and a murderous reiatsu to match.

"U-Um... That is we'll go when you say so, Renji!"

Renji "hmph"ed and his murderous glare softened to an irritated gaze. "That's what I thought you said..."

Tara grinned and Renji released her, allowing the girl to sprint over to her beloved friends.

Zoro stopped by Renji's side once the girl had sprinted out of sight and smiled a little. "It looks like everyone's accounted for."

Renji sighed in relief and smiled back at him. "Thank you Zoro. You have no idea how much this means to me."

"No problem." Zoro said with a wave of his hand. "Like I said, we don't want them tearing up the place, right?"

"Right."

"OKAY EVERYONE!! LISTEN UP!!"

Like earlier, everyones attention was drawn away from their previous actions and focused on Tara. The only difference was there was no box for the girl to stand on this time, to hold herself highly before them.

"Now there is an awful lot of us so I suggest we split into two groups! Zoro will lead one while Renji and I--"

"Oh HELL no!"

This time everyone turned to Renji in mild surprise at his interruption. If Tara didn't know any better, she'd say steam was fuming out of Renji's ears while a deathly glare aimed directly at her.

"We are by no means splitting up!" He growled. "We are staying _together_! As a _group_! If you think I'm gonna let you run around like a bunch of monkeys you've got another thing coming!"

"Well you're one to talk about moneys baboon boy!"

Renji's eyes would have popped out of his head if possible. Of all the people to ever throw that insult at him, Tara was the last he needed. He stomped over to her, grabbing her by her jacket and hoisting her over his shoulder, carrying her off inelegantly. She let out a small squeak of surprise and began to pond his back.

"R-Renji!! Let me down! This isn't funny! Zaxie!! Zaxie make him stooop!!" She whined.

"Shut up! I'm carrying you like this the whole time if I have to!"

"Hey, man! Calm down!"

Renji stopped and tensed when he felt his arm apprehended. Mainly, because he knew who it was. He turned slowly to look at Ichigo who had his arm in a tight grasp, his heart beginning to beat wildly.

"Come on, Renji. Don't cause a scene! She was just joking!"

Renji and Ichigo stared at each other for a moment longer, Renji's glare softened into a wide eyed glance. He slowly shrugged Ichigo's hand off and placed Tara back down, the girl looking from man to boy before fixing on Renji.

"I'm sorry." Renji muttered, patting her head and smoothing back her hair.

"It's okay, Ren... I shouldn't have pissed you off."

Renji gave her one of his half smiles and turned to the rest of the group that watched with extream interest at the scene before them. He smiled apologetically and locked eyes with each of them briefly. "Sorry guys."

There were a few words of acknowledgment throughout when the moment was ruined by the strawberry death god.

"Oi! Ain't ya gonna thank me?!" He snapped, taking a few step towards Tara.

"PFT! As if! I didn't need your help anyway, ya fuckin' emo!"

Everyone watched as Ichigo snapped just as he did everytime Tara called him that. His face became red with anger as he reached threatingly for his shinigami bade, ready to transform and slash the girl's head off if need be.

"I told you not to call me that!! I'm not emo!!"

"Are so! Shut up fuckin' emo before I go ninja on yer sorry ass!"

"SHUT UP YOU GENDERLESS DUMBIE!! I'M NOT EMO!!"

"'Dumbie'? Nice one, IchEMO(1). Tell me, how old were you again?"

Ichigo's just about exploded as he yanked out his badge and all hell broke lose. "THATS IT!!" He just about slamed the device into his chest when another strong grip and a soft voice stopped him.

"Ichigo, no! People will see!"

Ichigo turned and met Zaxel's stern eyes, his arm stopped in mid flight.

"People are staring Ichigo! What'll they think if you suddenly collapse?"

Ichigo sighed and loosened his arm from her grip, stuffing his badge back in his pocket and turning to face her completely. "You're right, Karyna. I'm sorry. Just got a little carried away."

Zaxel smiled and he smiled in turn, sending a painful twinge through Renji's heart. Ichigo and Zaxel turned back to the now uninterested group and began to talk amongst themselves, getting back into a cheerful carefree mood. Renji turned back away only to be met with now narrowed and concerned eyes.

"Renji...?" Tara put her hand on his arm lightly. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He sighed. "Just thinking... about _it_."

"O-Oh..." She sighed. Renji sighed two and the two stayed quiet for a moment longer before Tara smiled reassuringly at him. "I hope we're wrong." She whispered. "For both of our sakes."

Renji smiled back and they turned back to the rest of the group, ready to start their day once again.

-/-/-/-

**A/N:** Not much in this chapter but still a chapter none the less. Please Review!


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